Grieving

Good morning, Everyone.
It has been an unbearably sad week.
My dad, the best daddy anyone could ever be blessed with, passed from this mortal life last Friday morning. Dad was superman to my sisters and brother, the fun-est grandpa to his grandchildren, and a proud Great Grandpa to his greats, a caring brother, a friend to all, and a loving husband to my mother (they have had a true life love story).
Although his heart struggled to keep the pace, his strength waned, Dad maintained he was fine, tired, but fine. He left us on his terms, looking out over the bay, in his bed, next to the woman he loved all of his life.
The loss leaves a deep void. Dad lived his life, surrounded in love and strived to include EVERYONE in his circle. Mom is devastated. Our hearts are broken. The only good outcome was that everyone gathered. My daughters got in cars and on planes and arrived within a day. My sisters’ and brother’s clans traveled as well. Cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors, friends came to our aide, brought food, shared our aching grief.
We wanted to celebrate his beautiful life with EVERYONE, but #!%!ing COVID.
We fashioned a private memorial at The House with the immediate 50 or so family members. Social distancing and masking were observed. My nephew and nieces worked technology magic so that the wide circle could participate with us. A tent, tables, and propane heaters were set up in the yard, and, yes, a deluxe port-a-potty was ordered to save the strain on the cesspool. Buttera’s of Sayville delivered (my sisters and I were not up to cooking), cakes and cookies, and beautiful flowers added, and the many pictures we sorted through were displayed. Mom made the centerpieces. Tears shed, heartfelt sentiments spoken, and the stories flowed. And, though a bit chilly, a bunch of us jumped in the bay. Being our father’s daughters, my sisters and I wore bathing suits under our dresses, so we were prepared. It was a party he would have approved, what Mom knew was the right way to go.
After a week, our lives are slowly returning to a new normal. I miss him, his broad smile, his voice, his gentle presence.
Thank you, Everyone, for indulging me.

26 thoughts

  1. I am very sorry to hear about your Dad’s passing, Antoinette. He has been part of your stories and he will continue to be part of your stories. I can see the twinkle in his eyes and his beaming smile in the photo. Thank you for sharing this very difficult post. You remind me what is truly important. Love and prayers to you and your family. xo 💕

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  3. I’m very sorry for your loss. At least you were able to have that gathering in this day of Covid. Any time you celebrate a life, it is best to do it in a way that person would approve of, so I’m glad you were able to have such a celebration for your dad.

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  6. Oh, Antoinette, I am so, so sorry to hear this news.. What a nice celebration of life though, surrounded by family and I’m so glad that you have each other for support. ((HUGS)) This has been such a rough year..

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    1. I am sorry to hear of your premature loss. I can’t complain. My dad was 87, vibrant and wonderful. It’s just that one is never ready for the inevitable.

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  8. How I wish there were words that would comfort you and your family Antoinette, but we both know there are none that would do this. I’ve also decided, after losing both of my parents that I don’t want the pain of losing them to stop. If I can’t have them back, I want the hole in me to stay unfilled. Anything else seems less than honoring, like admitting I can somehow enjoy life without them. So there has to be a balance in here somewhere, We function, but we will never forget or lose our thoughts of thankfulness for those who brought us into this world and then sacrificed so much to prepare us to succeed and become living memorials to their love and care.
    I’m so sorry for your loss.

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    1. My dad got to leave on his terms, although my mom is angry he could not wait for her. I am so fortunate to have them well as long as I do. I am not as angry as I am sad that his presence is so very much missed. Thank you for your well wishing.

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  9. Oh, I didn’t want to hit that like button, but see it as support, okay. (hugs) I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know the weight of loss is unbearable. Life will never be the same. Know that we’re here for you and caring for you. Many blessings, Bear

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  19. Antoinette, please accept my condolences on the loss of your dear father. The photos you posted show a handsome, sweet man. I hope your fond memories comfort you in the sad days ahead. Lady

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